'Twas thirty nights before Christmas when all through the land, people with sense were taking a stand. “It's too early to start celebrating”, they cried, and struggled in vein to hold back the yuletide.
But all of the shops started playing the songs, and people began buying trees in their throngs. And coffee was flavoured, and served in red cups. And people were crying, at adverts for shops.
And the people with sense felt a bit like a Scrooge, and joined in because they had nothing to lose. And nobody cared or chose to remember, that Christmas never used to begin in November.
But I’m holding out, until the eleventh, when I put up my tree and wrap all my present(h). Tie tinsel to my bollocks, pour glitter on my willy. Because once it is Christmas, I get really silly.
Ho ho ho.
WHO AM I KIDDING?!!
Oh the noises I made….